Is it possible?

Is it possible to love somebody that you don't really know? When I say 'really', I'm talking in terms of depth, in detail. Is it possible to love someone that you know in some ways, but not in others--someone you have shared tough experiences with, but whose favorite food, or color, or music you wouldn't have the slightest information on? To all of these questions I would say yes.

I have a friend (a few actually) who has changed my life. You've seen my past posts, and my most recent "transformation" post. I still have a ways to go to get to my goal, but in the process of achieving this goal, I came across some people that helped me see my life, and the way I view it, a little bit differently. Jason , Sally , Nick , and Ben are the trainers at Competitive Fitness--the place that I have been going to change. They are however, much more than trainers to me. I love them all dearly. I want to tell you though about Jason, and what his dreams, have done for mine.

Today was a day that if it were possible, some of us would like to give back--turn back the clock if you will. Today, Competitive Fitness closed her doors. But, even though the gym is closed, my heart will forever remain open and touched because Jason had the gumption to dream. He dreamed of more than himself. Having 9 fitness certifications was all well and good to him, but it did no good unless he could reach the masses. He managed a 24hr fitness, and even trained that good ol' Alli Vincent on her way to biggest loser victory. But he knew something wasn't right. Most people going in and out of 24hr were missing out. He wanted to be able to help more people. It's ALWAYS about others for him. A true example of Christ, and ironically, he's just getting closer to the Savior in more recent days. Anyway, to keep a long story long, he took everything he had, found a shyster of a partner, and started Competitive Fitness.

CF was to be a place of love, a place where people could work their butts off, and yell and scream for one another. A place where strangers two minutes earlier could put arms around shoulders and share a laugh at how they nearly passed out from a workout. It was to be a FAMILY. Well, I'm here to tell you that Jason's dream was accomplished. It was a family.

Time passed, and as it goes with many new businesses, he ran into some big hurdles. The partnership was dissolved, but the damage was done, and here we are today. If I could say one thing to anyone reading this (Jason included)--Jason, did not fail in this business venture. If anything, he succeeded beyond his wildest dreams. That's easy to say when I'm not the one stressed about the other parts of life that require money, I know. But beyond money (which never has been the driving force for Jason), LIVES have been changed--including mine. The Savior said: "...How great shall be your joy in the kingdom of my Father if ye shall bring save it be one soul unto me. But, how much greater shall your joy be, if ye shall bring MANY souls..." Jason saved many.

You might read this and say, "how does working out save a soul?" That is a valid question. But I'm here to tell you that the longer one travels down the lonely path of laziness and gluttony, the lonelier one becomes. With loneliness comes discouragement, and with discouragement comes apathy, and with apathy comes a hardened heart--the Lord, cannot dwell in a hard heart. Conversely, with exercise comes hope (and lots of physical pain sometimes), with hope comes faith/belief, with faith comes knowledge of the truth--the Lord IS truth.

Anyway, I'm totally rambling. But my point in the WHOLE post is to tell you that although I don't know Jason intimately, I love him. He's a brother to me. I owe him part of my life, because he so willingly shared part of his. He risked all he owned to help people like me. In turn, he is losing most of what he owns.....to help people like me. People who do that make me strive to be better in all aspects of life. My father did that--he is my hero. Jason....in many ways, so are you. Mind you all, this is not a funeral here. Jason is still alive and kicking--I just saw him this evening. But it's important to know and be reminded, that it's people like Jason that make this country run. People who risk it all to live the dream. Well, Jason, your dream didn't pan out the way you envisioned it. But friend, it's not gone. It's not over. Your dream, fueled many others--many of which, you may never see the full fruition of. You dream inspired others to dream. Your dream brought hope to hundreds, and the chain reaction of that you may never know. As a tie in to that thought--my grandparents (dad's parents) joined the LDS church when my dad was 3. That missionary who baptized my grandparents had no idea what kind of a chain reaction was started and how many more THOUSANDS of people have come unto Christ because of that single act. Upwards of 30-40 missionaries from my gpa's posterity alone have gone out to the world and baptized. And the chain goes on. Jason, your dream is the same. You have inspired, and people who move on, share your dream with others, and inspire them, and the gift goes on, and on, and on.

I posted something before about attitude. In it, I quoted Jim Valvano. It stands today as one of my favorite quotes to keep me going. So to all, I'll repeat it tonight. "Don't give up. Don't EVER give up."

Jason, I love you. Sally, Nick, Ben...the same feelings apply.

So, can you love someone without knowing everything about them? I mean really love them? The answer depends on you as a person. But as for me, I can. And I do.

Ch-ch-ch-changes....

Other than having a better camera....can you see any changes in me since exactly one year ago? It's the same way that I looked when I started working out at Competitive Fitness in February of this year.

Fat? Hmm, I think so.

  Well, sometimes we all need a little edumacation on some basic principles.  Sure, all of us know that eating too much of just about anything isn't good.  And we all especially know that eating too much junk is even worse.  

So, why this educational video?  Because even smarty pants' need reminders why it is important to eat right and exercise.  

This applies especially to me since I have gained 4 pounds since Crew was born.  I had lost approximately 25 pounds.  Then, I began to see myself making tiny rationalizations for my behaviors.  Similar to what I had done in the past when I had worked to lose weight.  It is one thing to allow yourself to have a cookie or an ice cream every ONCE IN A WHILE--and not beat yourself up about it.  It is, however, an entirely different story when you begin to use the fact that you have lost "x" amount of weight to justify your junk eating choices..."I have lost 25 pounds.  I'm ok.  I'll just have "this" and be right back at it.  

BE CAREFUL with that type of logic.  It will quickly lead you back to the weight you were running from.  So, allow yourself a treat once in a while, but remember the end goal...a longer, healthier, happier life.  That is where I have found myself these past 10 days.  I have since recognized it, have hit the workouts hard again, and have focussed my eyes on my prize.  I hope the rest of you all do the same.  

Keep pushing ALL!  Find a new goal, a new race, a new reason to remind yourself that every day is a great day to get the heart pumping.  It's WAY more worth it than being sloppy and frustrated that our food addictions are controlling us.  Yay friends.                    

You may need to pause my awesome music before watching the show.  :) 

15 down

It's been a while so I wanted to post a quick update.

I'm 15 pounds down.  Only 30 to go. :)  I actually want to lose around 10-15 this month.  We'll see if I can do it.  At any rate, here are some personal things that I've been able to do since I started at Competitive Fitness.  

I can now do 10 unassisted pull-ups (maybe more, I'm not sure).  

I can do 100 push-ups coupled with over 100 squats in 8 minutes.

I can row 5000 meters in 21 minutes.  (harder than it seems)

Anyway, there are a few other things that I couldn't come close to doing only a short month and a half ago.  

For anyone struggling.  For anyone tired and wondering if they will ever be able to come off conquerer.  Just know that there are others out there with you.  

So, in The words of Jimmy Valvano--"Don't give up.  Don't ever give up."

Valvano, who was dying of cancer also said this (and you can liken it to whatever you are fighting)--"Cancer can take all of my physical abilites, but it cannot touch my mind, it cannot touch my heart, and it cannot touch my soul" 

One thing we all can be sure of is that whatever we are fighting, Cannot touch our minds, Cannot touch our hearts, and cannot touch our souls.  

Let's keep fighting.   

For anyone interested, here is a link to Jimmy V's speech.  It's about 10 minutes, and very, very good.   

The CURE!!

I've found the cure for heartburn.  Yes, I'm due to make millions.  

Because the cure is a short answer, I'm really going to try and stretch this out here.  

Wait for it....

Wait for it...........

Hard core..................EXERCISE!!!  Yes, I know, I'll keep you all in mind when I'm cashing my big checks.  But I have to say, that since I have started this current regimen of work outs, I have not had ONE bout with heartburn.  

My heartburn is no where near the level of some of my family members, but I've had my fair share of uncomfortable nights.  It feels so good to not have that in my life anymore.  

Just thought I would share with you.  

Oh, I've also lost 12 pounds in my first near month of this place I go to.  LOVE IT.  

A-T-T-I-T-U-D-E

"The only disability in life is a bad attitude.”

~Scott Hamilton

“Bite off more than you can chew, then chew it.”
~Ella Williams

Often your tasks will be many,

And more than you think you can do.

Often the road will be rugged

And the hills insurmountable, too.

But always remember,

The hills ahead

Are never as steep as they seem,

And with Faith in your heart

Start upward

And climb ’til you reach your dream.

For nothing in life that is worthy

Is ever too hard to achieve

If you have the courage to try it,

And you have the faith to believe.

For faith is a force that is greater

Than knowledge or power or skill,

And many defeats turn to triumph

If you trust in God’s wisdom and will.

For faith is a mover of mountains,

There’s nothing that God cannot do,

So, start out today with faith in your heart,

And climb ’til your dream comes true!

--Author Unknown

Today, I got beat up by my workout--and I only was told to do HALF of what was called for.  Here is what was called for:  "Do this as fast as you can--1 mile run, 100 pull-ups, 200 push ups, 300 squats (body weight), 1 mile run."

I did half of each of those.  On my final half mile run, my legs were jellied, my lungs were on fire, my arms/shoulders/etc. were hard to keep up, and my heart was pounding out of my chest.  I walked 1/4 of that 1/2 mile.  But as I approached the turn around spot to head back to the gym, I thought, "I could just cut this a few yards short.  It wouldn't be a big deal..."  Then I thought about something I read that Will Smith said about when he goes for a run, "when I go out/say I'm going to run 5 miles, I run 5 miles.  Because if I listen to that voice in my head, I'll never finish it EVER..."  So I thought to myself..." shut up voice in my head."  Then I thought about what Seone from the biggest loser said durning a recent challenge when asked if everybody would be willing to stop the challenge where they were instead of finishing.  He said, "you all do what you want, but I would feel like I would be cheating myself.  I have been cutting short my whole life, that's why I'm here, that's why I'm fat.  So, I'm going to finish..." 

So I finished.  I went all the way to every line.  I did every thing that was asked of me.  I had to change my attitude.  We might not be in control of everything in life, but we most certainly control that.  Choose to be grumpy and miserable, and that is what your life will be like.  Choose to be happy in those exact circumstances, and you life will not remotely resemble that former life of misery--even amidst the same situations.  

Push through defeat.  

Push through change.

Push through self-pity and doubt.

It's rewarding, and besides, that is the only way to win the race.  

Have I?

A poor, wayfaring Man of grief
Hath often crossed me on my way,
Who sued so humbly for relief
That I could never answer nay.
I had not pow’r to ask his name,
Whereto he went, or whence he came;
Yet there was something in his eye
That won my love; I knew not why.

Stript, wounded, beaten nigh to death,
I found him by the highway side.
I roused his pulse, brought back his breath,
Revived his spirit, and supplied
Wine, oil, refreshment—he was healed.
I had myself a wound concealed,
But from that hour forgot the smart,
And peace bound up my broken heart.

In pris’n I saw him next, condemned
To meet a traitor’s doom at morn.
The tide of lying tongues I stemmed,
And honored him ’mid shame and scorn.
My friendship’s utmost zeal to try,
He asked if I for him would die.
The flesh was weak; my blood ran chill,
But my free spirit cried, “I will!”

Then in a moment to my view
The stranger started from disguise.
The tokens in his hands I knew;
The Savior stood before mine eyes.
He spake, and my poor name he named,
“Of me thou hast not been ashamed.
These deeds shall thy memorial be;
Fear not, thou didst them unto me.”

This morning, I was singing this song in the shower, and found that I couldn't sing it anymore.  My heart was full.  I thought, over and over about my life, and where I am, and what I'm doing.  I couldn't help but think that I too have "myself, a wound concealed."  I attempted to stem my emotions by singing another hymn.

"Have I done any good in the world today?

Have I helped anyone in need?

Have I cheered up the sad, or made someone feel glad?

If not, I have failed indeed."

Singing this song did not have the desired effect.  I continued to think, "Have I?"  I thought of the second verse to that song:  

There are chances for work all around just now;

Opportunities right in our way.

Do not let them pass by, saying 'sometime, I'll try',

But GO and do something today.

So, for what it is worth, I am going to try and do something good today--to "stand up, and do something more than dream of my mansion above."  I want to share with all my testimony of Jesus Christ.  He is that poor wayfaring man of grief.  And if he asked "if I for Him would die", my answer would be yes a thousand times over.  I can't wait for the day that I can look upon him and see the tokens in His hands and feet.  To kiss Him and bathe His feet with my tears of love and gratitude and with hope that I hear Him say, "of me thou hast not been ashamed".

"I have myself a wound concealed", but I know that he can bind up my broken heart.  I may stumble through the rest of my existence struggling with my "wounds", but I want anyone who is listening now to know that my testimony of the Savior is real.  I hope that one day, my words can mean the same as Pres. Hinckley's did when he said, "I love him.  He is my friend.  He is my redeemer."  I too love Him, and He IS my friend.  My entire body is filled with the Spirit's confirmation that Jesus lives.  That He died for me willingly.  He is the way, the truth, and the life.  He is Jesus Christ, and He did it all for me--despite my imperfections, my sins, my stumbling blocks, etc.  He loves me.  I Love Him.  

Have I done any good in the world today?  I hope so.     

Success!

Today we did a lot of dumbbell clean and jerks.  I'll refrain from explaining what those are to any of you who might not know (I suggest going to youtube or google and looking up clean and jerk, then imagine that with dumbbells).  Anyway, we were going for a 3 rep max.  When the dust settled and the smoke cleared, I had the highest weight lifted.  Jason (the trainer) suspects it might last the whole day.  He said, "I have some really strong, muscly guys, but you have better form than they do, so I suspect you will be able to hold out."  

Needless to say, I was pumped.  Especially since I have been in the middle to bottom in workout placements thus far.  I'm definitely seeing improvements already and I'm only in my second week.  I'm loving this.  As for what weight I hefted....85lb dumbbells. The highest before that was 65lbs.  One guy did 75lbs. right after me.  So, there you go.  That's 170lbs. in total dumbell weight...let you think otherwise. :)  Mind over matter guys.  Also, chiropractor over sore necks and hip flexors.  Man, did I tweak my neck on my last rep!  

I cannot go to school today said little....

Here is a link to a video that I think says it all.  I want to publish the actual video on this post, but I don't know how to put an actual youtube video on here.  Anyway, just click on the link and enjoy.    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=obdd31Q9PqA

For the last few years, I've made countless excuses for my failures--Tatum was just born and she's waking up in the night and I'm SO tired I can't keep it up...Dane was just born....My knees hurt...I'm having some allergy/asthma issues...and the list goes on.  Some of these are viable excuses, but that is all they are; excuses.  

On the biggest loser, one of the contestants who had to spend time at home for a little bit before coming back said something to the effect, "when I got home, I was exhausted every day.  I was helping with the kids, around the house, and working.  I didn't think I had time to work out, nor the energy.  But somehow, I found enough time to watch 2-3 hours of t.v. a day.  So, I stopped the t.v. if it was getting in the way of my health."  Again, not his exact words, but the gist is the same.  

I have been going to a place called competitive fitness for the last 2 weeks and have come to realize what I have been missing out on.  My body is more sore than it has been in years, and I've been getting up at 5:30 to go.  The crazy thing, after the first few days, I now wake up at 3am then 5am anticipating my alarm.  My point is, this whole getting fit, eating right, etc. is MENTAL!!!  Nearly every physical challenge we face can be made better, easier, or fixed, if we strengthen our minds.  I'm doing that.  I've just started.  I mentioned in an earlier post that I might fall off the back of the wagon, but I will not let go of the rope this time around.  I will keep pulling myself back on.  So, I'm still riding the wagon and feeling great.  

Let's get physical....ly fit.

Today, I had my first training session with my new trainer at competitive fitness. This is the same trainer that worked with Alli from the biggest loser. He's a cool dude. I'm going to go to him for 3 months and get whooped back into shape. Today, I did my "baseline" workout to see where I'm at and where we will be going from here. Well...I'm not in very good shape is the first thing I noticed. Anyway, I'm really looking forward to the changes in my body. I've already given up sugar (well about 99%). That was easier to do than I though it would be. Next, I'm going to take Dixie's challenge to not snack on anything but fruits and veggies. My goal is to drop 35lbs. in the next three months. However, I'm more concerned with inches during this stretch.

What the mirror showed me

I woke one day and had to say, "I don't like the way I look."
My clothes don't fit, frustrations drip, and when I moved my tummy shook.
My back is tight, my two knees fight to keep me moving when I walk.
I'm snoring now, my face is round, my chin has ripples when I talk!

The time has come to get things done, I face the mirror and say:
"Be gone you slob, unsightly blobs, look out! Get out of my way!"
No more will food that's not so good be thrust inside my face.
For I will push and push and push, until I win this race!!

I know this is a silly poem, and I just whipped it together, but it sort of sums up how I feel a lot of the time. When I'm wearing scrubs and stuff, I don't REALLY notice where I am. But when I get dressed each morning for work and look in the mirror, I inevitably say, "what the?? Man, I don't know how I got to this point!" Be strong all, and keep to the grind. I know I am!