Cause and Effect

Many of you know the cause and effect game. A storm causes flooding, which leads to mud slides, etc. I study for a math test, which leads to a good grade. I get diarrhea which leads to no workout on Tues! I feel like a truck ran over me, which leads to no workout on Monday. I don't work out for two days in a row, don't post for two days, which leads to 1.5 pound weight loss in that time period. Fascinating! So, there you have it. I have been under the weather. Tonight was actually a big SURPRISE! I was all decked out, heading for the door when my dinner wanted to make an exit before I did. My gym closes at nine, so I ran out of time. Plus, my dinner apparently had friends. Anyway, I'm still not deterred. I feel good about my goals, and I'm on it to win. I have felt very, very tired lately, and I can't figure it out. But that won't stop me either. Yay team!

The unknown truths about "The Host"

Today's post, is in part, two parts. hahaha. I'm killing myself. Anyway folks, first my exercise/diet update. Yesterday was great. Really good. I felt like I was a swollen balloon, but I ate really well, so I'm sure I'll get blessing points because of that. Lana and I went to Texas Roadhouse for dinner and I got grilled chicken,s a yam, and a salad. The only thing I finished or even came close to finishing was the salad. I just didn't feel the need to push it. That said, I do have a little discouragement because I'm not seeing ANY weight change. I've lost like 4 pounds, and hit a wall already. I'm sure I need to be a little more diligent with the eating, but I am better than I used to be and I'm not seeing the weight come off, so I started to feel like, "if it isn't going to change, then why should I change the way I eat". I got over that thought. Anyway, I'm still going strong.

Now, on to the meat of my thoughts. On my itunes, I have like 30 audio books. One of the said books is "The Host" by Stephanie Meyer. I do a lot of driving for work, so audio books are great to have in the car. Anyway, I was listening to the book and I had a thought, "Miss Meyer is leaving out 'the rest of the story'". I'm hear to fill it in.

For those who don't know (and this in no way will be a spoiler), the host is about a race of beings (souls) that come and over take humanity and take their bodies to live in. Like a tapeworm accept with more control. At any rate, I'm listening to this discription of how marvelous it feels for these 'souls' to begin life in their new hosts.

"She felt things she never had before, emotions she never knew possible. She could smell, taste, feel, in a way never imaginable before. It was exillerating. She breathed in, tasting the air around her--licking life with every breath."

That was not an exact quote, but I wanted to give you an idea of what we're working with here. As I was listening to this, I began having some pretty painful stomach gurgling.

"Hmm", though I. I don't think Stephanie is being fully truthful to these aliens. Because I'm thinking that if they knew the whole truth about the human physical experience they might reconsider what they were getting into. I see the real scene playing out someting more like this:

"She couldn't believe the rush of sensations. Her eyes drank in the surroundings as she carressed the ground like she'd never done before. Her mind raced with thoughts and emotion heretofor believed impossible. She stood up and began walking...gurgle. Oh great merciful heavens. This indeed is something she hadn't felt before. Clutching her lower abdomen, the alien tried to focus, but lost all train of thought because her stomach was in massive cramps. It passed. "Strange" she thought. She took a long deep breath, the air's fingers tickled her nose with pleasure...gurgle, cramp, gurgle. "What the...!" gurgle... "Oh! I have a sensation I do NOT like!" She heard someone laughing. She shot a glance over her shoulder to where she saw no one. She realized the laughter was coming from inside her head--it was the human she had taken over. "She was supposed be gone".

"Well I'm not." The human was laughing uncontrollably. "How do you like the body now life sucker?" I knew you were coming to get me so I ate five bran muffins, a plate of cheese fries, a bowl of chili beans, and three tabs of exlax. I figure if you are going to take my body, you need to know what is in store. I will say, for the first time in my life, I'm going to enjoy this bout of diarreah. "

The alien fell to the ground, writhing in pain. All of the pleasure and joy she had so recently felt, poured out of her backside. Wave after wave of burning, unhindered by attempts to stop it, came rushing out, making anything around her flee for safety. Explosions of toxic fumes erupted from the same area, rendering her senseless. There was no escaping this hell unless she herself wanted to face death from her peers. Yes, yes, she would rather face death than live in a body where this might EVER happen again. Screw the pleasantries, this sucked....

So, that is my take on how "The Host" fell short. More like a behind the scenes look (no pun intended).

Doth my handles deceive me?

So, I woke up this morning and noticed that I felt a little trimmer. I opted not to step on the scale--ok, I mostly forgot to get up on it. Anyway, I felt great. That is where the great stopped. I felt good physically, but my work day was uninspired and I had my c game if that.

After work, I went straight to the gym and killed it. I did cardio and had a REALLY good workout. so far so good. I'm tired, and don't have anything else to write. Speaking of that, one of my written goals is to keep working on my book. I have not done that. Shame on me.

Another day another workout

I'm committed to this workout thing. I went again this morning, and frankly I didn't want to go. I was tired, but I realized I wasn't going to be able to go after work, so I went. I did shoulders, chest, and back, with some ab work thrown in. I came home and was really shaking which I liked. My breakfast was just dandy, but guess what? I ate poop for lunch again. I had planned on eating something completely different than what I had brought for the office I was feeding. But, my willpower checked out at 11:30 instead of 12:30 (always looking to save a buck). But, I didn't pig out like normal. I ate a smaller portion which helped. About 40 min. after lunch though, I couldn't keep my eyes open (that's what happens when your body has to digest crap). So, I thought I should get something to pep me up (actually the idea of a coworker). So, while I was filling up my car, I went inside and got a Mt. Dew (which I haven't purchased for nearly 10 years) and a maple covered donut. yeah, nice. I ate the donut and drank 8 oz. of the Mt. Dew (I dumped the rest out), then I promptly felt worse. Let's just say I learned a valuable lesson--donuts taste really great, but they don't provide the boost they promise to. Despite that, I feel like my body is doing better. When I fully commit to eating better, I know my results will get much better. Until then, I'm nickling and diming my way down. Go team!

1+1=2

I've always been good at math Jody Shumway. Many of you will have no idea what the deuce I just did there in that last sentence, but never you mind.

As far as my workouts are concerned, I've been aces. I did indeed go in the morning on Monday which proved to be just the right thing. Today I went right after work again and did a leg workout (a light one mind you. I haven't done a serious leg workout for ages and after today's performance, it is no surprise why--yikes). The diet still needs work, but I'm ever conscious and am making strides. So, essentially, it was the lunch that did me in again today, but I'm not deterred, but rather fired up to do better. I have a LONG way to go here folks, so a couple bad lunches will not do me in! Because I have such a long way to go, I will post my before pictures a little later. Actually I need to take my week and then a little pictures to go with my before--which, if I may be so bold is utterly and distinguishably FOUL. Even I threw up a little in my mouth when I saw them. Gross times two. I kind of played one of those redstripe beer commercials in my head when I looked at them..."are you fat?" "uh...well, I guess..." "you are VERY fat! HOORAY BEER!" So there you have it; tubby is still at it, and long live Red Stripe Beer.

Sedona

Well, Saturday was a fine fine day. I didn't hit the gym, but I did hit the red rocks of Sedona. This was the first time in my life that I had ever been to that place. I'll be going back. The drive up there was horrid (see Eric's post for the details www.myphysicalodessy.blogspot.org). Once there, we had a wonderful time. It turns out that Sedona was having the "apple festival" that we didn't know was happening this weekend. That would explain the very sucky traffic around town--a town, mind you, that was not set up to have that much traffic in it. Anyway, I didn't hit the gym as I said, but I ate pretty well--thanks to Eric's good example, I skipped an ice cream cone from DQ. It wasn't too tough to do, but I did have a lick or two from Lana's cone. I've resolved that in order to have total success, I will have to hit the gym in the mornings. That usually works best and I thusly avoid any unexpected events that might get in the way in the evenings. I'm loving the posting deal. Even if I'm the only one (other than Lana, Eric, and Drex) whose reading them. I'm reminded of what I'm going for after reading Eric's posts. So go team! I REALLY look forward to my workout tomorrow.

grrrrrrr

Right now I'm sort of grumpy. That isn't entirely how my day went though. I actually had a pretty good day. I got business from two accounts I've been wanting to have for a little while now. But I suppose I am a little disappointed with myself in regards to my eating this week. Mostly, it is the lunch time thing. I think I remember that two seasons ago on the biggest loser, the winner was a drug rep who had to do lunches all the time. Well, that is a difficult thing to do and not to participate in a lot of the crap that we feed them. At any rate, my stomach is sore from the ab work, my biceps feel like the are in constant knots, and I love it all. But because my diet has only been moderately good to almost poor at times, I feel like I have not benefited from the workouts as I should. Eric has lost about 5 lbs during his first week. A feat I'm not sure I can claim. Now, that said, I am still confident and motivated. I don't feel like quitting. To the contrary. I think the next step in my total health transformation will be to get to bed much earlier so that I can work out in the mornings. That will most likely provide the best track for success. As it is, I have little to no energy to go in the mornings. I'm ready to feel like my body is responding to the workouts (other than the soreness). I know that will come. When I did the body for life workout/diet, it wasn't until week 4 that I saw a noticeable difference. So, I must bide my time and keep to the grind stone. Thank goodness for cliches in a time like this. I think I will "work my butt off" with "blood sweat and tears" until I "see the light at the end of the tunnel" and can "smell success". Because although today has been hard, "time heals all wounds". Well, I can't think of any more right now because my mind is cluttery and absent. I'm going to sleep.

Who put that there?

Let's just say today was both a failure and a victory. Part of my job description is to provide lunches for doctors offices. You can safely assume, that not all of those lunches meet the "eating right" category. Today was no exception. What I will do in most cases is just eat less of whatever, thus keeping a lower caloric intake. Today I didn't follow that because someone forgot to give me a heads up that lunch was Costa Vida. Holy moley, do I love that place. Anyway, I ate a great breakfast and dinner, but my lunch killed me. So that was the failure. The plus was that I made sure to hit the gym. I made it just before closing and was the last one there. I felt great that I wasn't going to let anything stop me from my workout. I was a sweating fool by the time I was done, and I felt like I gave my body the workout it needed. So, I'll call today a wash. Tomorrow is going to be awesome. I find that I can't go to bed or do much of anything in regards to health without thinking about my commitment to write down my progress. I'm happy about that.

Day two--better than day one

Today was better than yesterday for more than one reason. The major reason was the fact that I ditched my pc for an imac. WAY COOL. My p.c. was on its way out anyway. Now at least I can deliver on those spine tingling pictures you all have been waiting for.

I ate relatively well today. The strangest thing about starting this journey, is I came out of a three month apathetic fog about 3 days ago. Perfect timing. The amazing thing about seeing clearly is that good health and good eating seems to be more desirable. I didn't crave the same old crap today, thus saving me from having to defend my poor choices. I ate well, and I met with my once a month trainer today and he kicked my butt for being a lazy bum. I came right home, drank a protein shake and polished that off with minestrone. Really satisfying and good tasting. I'm fired up about this. Thanks Eric for the inspiration. For all interested, Eric is the one who got me fired up about this deal. His journey can be seen on www.myphysicalodessy.blogspot.com. Check it out.

I mentioned in one of my former posts that as many times as I fall off the wagon, I'll get back on. Well, I meant it. I'm back on, and buckled in. For anyone else wondering if they can do it, you can. Hop on, I've got space. Two days down, a lot more days to go. Nice.

Day one

I should have written this last night, but alas our computer is on the fritz. It is looking like we will be replacing it soon. Ugh.

Day one: I woke early to the new puppy yelping and my kids trying to get to it. That poor dog--if he survives he'll be the stronger for it. Anyway, I ended up not working out in the morning. I had a small portion of honey nut shreded wheat. I had a Krazy Sub (veggie) at lunch, but prob. had too much there. I went for the 12 incher because I was pretty darn hungry. for dinner we had taco salad. Being that it was Monday, we went out to get some frozen yogurt for family night, and I had a 2.5 point (weight watchers scale) froyo. All in all, the snacking was not there yesterday, and I didn't cheat with "just a little" here and there. I ended up going to the gym around 5 pm and realized that my body isn't in shape. I don't know if I suspected that it was, but amid any halucinations I may have had, it has since been confirmed that I indeed need to continue to work out. So, it was an inauspicious start, but a start nonetheless. I can't post pictures yet (hail computer probs.). I will get you those sweaty, shirtless photos asap. I know how badly you all want to see them.

Talk to you later tonight,

Porter.

Funny thing, time.

Time is indeed a funny thing. The mistress of our complacency. One minute we're writing about jumping back on the wagon and only a short year later we are breaching the same topic--just to remind us that our minds are still "heavy" with it.

So...Here I go again (isn't that some really awesome rock song lyric...yes, yes it is. Five dollars to the first person to name the band. I digress.). My brother Eric, being the ever thinker that he is, thought up the idea that he would blog his weight loss journey. Not just weight loss, but rather his journey to total health and wellness. Has this been done before? Most assuredly. But that isn't the point. The point is, that the reason it has been done before, and the reason he is doing it (and thusly why I am joining the foray), is because oftentimes, it takes public humiliation (and support, ehem) to get things accomplished. Really it only works on people who have enough pride to not stay humiliated. Ultra competitors. That is Eric and me. We like the heat of the battle. We love to compete. So, here we go again? Yes. But this time with pictures!

I will be chronicling my journey from big, fat, loser with body odor, to svelte, nicely tanned hotty. So, please join me in my journey. I'm going to post pictures at minimum once weekly--ladies hold your breath--topless. Yes, you will get to watch me shrink and tone. I'm getting super excited just thinking about it. I can't imagine the mental pictures some of you have. Remember, I'm married already.

In all seriousness though, I would love any support and pep ups any would like to share. I have two supporters at current, so any more would be greatly appreciated. My last yearly post about the wagon jumpers is really true. I will be bucking the trend--so to speak. Like Eric's blog, here are my goals:

--Post daily my eating habbits and work out habbits.
--Write a minimum of 1 new page to my book that I've already started (another story altogether).
--10% body fat.
--Swim competitively and have times that are nationally competitve. (laugh away y'all suckas)
--Dunk a basketball (longer term goal)
--Finish my book and have it published or in the process of being published by summer 2009

Step one is lose the weight, step two is train for these events. It will happen.

Well, here we go. Let's all hold hands and make our dreams come true...as we do it our way, yes our way... Seriously, let's do it. Come with. Anyone who wants to join, has my support. Much love y'all,
Porter.